5 Signs the Homework Battle is Actually Something More

As parents, we've all been there - 

We get home from work with hopes of enjoying a calm night with our family, only to have an argument about homework erupt. 

While this is a typical scene for many families, it is important to recognize when the "homework battle" is actually a sign of a bigger underlying problem that needs to be addressed. 

While all students will occasionally have a tough night or shed a few tears over a particularly stressful homework assignment, be on the lookout for these 5 indicators that this reaction is stemming from something more. 

1. Homework is a frequent struggle. 

How often are arguments about homework erupting? Does it seem like your child struggles to complete their work (or just downright refuses to do it) every night? If so, this is something that needs to be addressed. 

If you've tried motivating your child to complete homework to no avail, they may be acting out because they don't understand the material or want to admit that the word is really hard for them. Often, students would rather appear like they don't want to do the work than admit that they can't do the work. It can be easy to assume this behavior is caused by the child being "lazy" or "unmotivated," but the truth is, struggles with completing homework is often a sign of an underlying learning struggle. 

2. Specific aspects of homework are creating meltdowns or frustrations. 

This is a tell-tale sign that there is something going on that needs to be addressed. 

If math homework is a breeze but spelling homework is a nightmare, this is a major red flag that you should consider having your child assessed for a specific learning disability.

It's important to recognize that while we call dyslexia (difficulty learning to read), dysgraphia (difficulty with writing skills), and dyscalculia (difficulty understanding math) specific learning disabilities - they are truly just a different style of learning. We only call them disabilities because they can create a significant strain in the classroom, at home, or both. 

These diagnoses do not indicate that there is anything wrong with your child's brain. None of these learning struggles equate to low cognition. In fact, many of these students have very high IQs which is what makes their struggle with homework or in the classroom so perplexing. 

3. The homework doesn't seem to get easier for your child even after practice.

If your child can't seem to recognize that they just solved the same math fact two rows before or they can't read the word they just sounded out three words ago - we have a cause for concern. 

If even after memorizing an entire list of spelling words the week before they aren't spelling those words correctly in their sentences or paragraphs - we have an issue. 

If any of these things sound like something you've experienced, it's important to know that it may be a sign of a specific learning disability that needs to be addressed. Students who struggle with a learning disability that isn't identified or addressed can struggle significantly long-term in the classroom - it doesn't go away, it doesn't get easier, it just makes your child feel more frustrated and at times can lead to low self-esteem.

4. Your child's ability to organize, prioritize, or complete work seems abysmal.

You ask your child what homework he or she needs to complete and are met with a blank stare, an "I don't remember" or "I don't have any,” or an "Oh no, I forgot my homework folder at school.” 

Beyond forgetting assignments and necessary materials, you might be wondering why your child isn't able to finish what seems like a simple multiplication or division problem. He or she may have numbers that seem difficult to follow and a pattern of completion that just doesn't seem logical or step-by-step. Even if the answer is right, you have no idea of how your child got there and he or she can't explain it to you in terms you understand. All of these are signs or indicators that something deeper may be going on that needs to be assessed.

5. Your child's teacher has commented on a lack of output.

You know your child is bright, the teacher knows your child is bright.

He can build an incredible Lego design without instructions and truly amazes you with the story and analogy behind it. Yet, he struggles with reading simple text or completing simple directions and requests. 

Maybe your daughter can create intricate and elaborate models or drawings and explain to you concepts far beyond what you feel her peers are discussing, yet she can't spell simple words.

If you or your child's teacher are noticing a disconnect between what your child knows and how well he or she is reading or writing, that is a major red flag indicating a need for assessment.

So What Do I Do?

It's important that if you are recognizing these signs - you don't push it off. You don't want to wait to see if things will improve. 

If you are seeing these signs in your child, you may very well be wasting incredibly valuable time by not seeking out an answer. Every day your child doesn't get the help he or she needs is moving them closer to frustration, anger, self-doubt, and possibly failure (or at the very least feelings of failure).

It's also important that you know that the school wants to help. But it's often not enough - they have limited resources and a lot of children they are trying to serve. The best services they can offer may not entirely meet the needs of your child. 

The process for obtaining specialized support through the school is also LONG. Schools have 60 days to complete testing from the time you formally request it. Then, it takes more time after that to meet with you to discuss results and then more time after that to begin implementing services if it is determined that your child qualifies.

It's not unusual between school breaks, holidays, and just the length of time for this process for a child to not receive specialized support for 6 months or more. For more information on school testing vs. private testing, click here.

We Want to Be Clear -

We truly believe that a collaborative approach is the best possible scenario for your child. We want the very best for your child. More than likely your child's school does as well (we can't think of any school that would deny this as true).

To help you navigate the process of getting your child support through the school, we created this 10-step guide. Inside, you'll find an action plan you can use to request testing and navigate the process. 

Even with help from the school, the honest truth is that they have limited resources and need to teach in a way that will support as many students as possible. Unfortunately, that may or may not be the best way for your child. It's not their fault - but it's just not enough. So don't hold out on the false hope that they will completely support your child if he or she is struggling.

As long as you continue to be curious about why your child may be acting or performing in a certain way, and as long as you take action when you realize something may be going on, you are doing everything you can and should be doing.

At the very least, make sure to notice when your child is struggling.

And if you aren't sure what your next steps are, fill out the form below and we will set up a time to chat. It's free! We can help. All you need is a plan and someone to guide you through the steps. It's what we do, and we've helped hundreds of other families through this process too.